your attention please. the speakers talk about safety and where the exits are and where the fire extinghers are located. i turn up the volume on my md player and continue to pretend to read. all the while wondering what the future will bring. i find a funny irony in that and it makes me smile. considering i had planned to take the three months worth of painkillers i have hoared and go to sleep last december, now i wonder about the future. what a funny boy i am. i was. the speakers on the train ask me to report any suspcious behaviour or unattended packages. i think to myself, if only it were that easy. long ago, in a land far, far  away, i was once called to brightest star. now i hide and darkland watching clocks without hands, counting the minutes with cigarettes and what if's. junk science has driven me into another world. for the last two years i have felt like a junk science project. what i would give to have my ghost life back. to dance drunk in the dark again. i used to want to be a machine and now i almost am. the advertisements lied. andy warhol lied. the american dream lied. the 1940's black and white films lied. and just as i start to get mad, i am jolted back by the speaks saying your attention please. i reach for my breifcase, activate my outside face and move toward the doors as the train pulls into my station. activation complete.