an artifical moon, waxes and wanes over junk science city. i feel its pull. as i lay in my disengaged apartment. blinds drawn, television on with the sound off. tick tock, tick tock, time for another cigarette or maybe another painkiler and maybe i will just sit here on the couch and stare at the blank off white wall across the living room for a few more hours. you can keep your junk science to yourself. i will sit here and decay, with or without an orbital path. i can see what you cant. i can see through the clutter. i can see though the code. i can see the junk science for the placebo it really is. the mirror that once dreampt of beauty is now covered with flecks of blood and bits of bandage, i belong where i am, broken among the broken toys that litter my apartment floor, obsolete and clear. t minus now and counting. soon the stars will fall. the cities will burn and i will be gone. into darkland forever. sitting in a bar with all my friends. and i will be very quiet, listening to them talk and laugh. and i will smile a smile so deep that it will tear my soul open and free the light within me. i was in that bar last december and david, who passed on a couple years ago, came up to me and told me to go home. that i wasnt supposed to be here yet. it made me very sad to leave, but i swam my way back through the light, though the static and radiowaves, back into the darkness and junk science.
i will wait and see what happens next. i will sit here and let the pull on the artifical moon caress me as though we were intimate and sing songs that i have never sang to anyone but myself, eyes closed. as the world waxes and wanes.