i open my eyes. i still see stars. i close my eyes and smile with hope. i open my eyes. i still see stars. we are all made of stardust. everything that exists is made of on a submolecular level of the same thing. stardust. i am one with god. i am one with myself. and i know. slowly. the know knows. the objects of desire is here. nothing can stop me. nothing ever could. i am part of every desire i have ever had. slowly. the desire desires. and yet, i sit here. drunk. and wait. slowly. the wait waits. resisting temptation by staying drunk is something i learned early on. disrupt the signal. confuse the pleasure program. insert tab into engine. insert the holy ghost into toast. confuse and conform. slowly. the norm norms. and i am crying. quietly. so that no one i live with will hear me, as i live alone. or so i thought. slowly. the thought thinks.
i hear a clatter of metal in the kitchen. i want to run, but i want to know more, so slowly, i undo the ropes and creep toward the kitchen. i smell smoke and hold my breath. and there she is. the virgin mary is in my kitchen, burning toast. no doubt to insert the holy ghost. i pull my pants up and slowly creep toward the front door. slowly. the creep creeps.