i spend the currency of western civilization freely, like i had anything to do with earning it. its my birthright. i am free trade. i am capitalism. i am democracy. but my fingers dont smell like money, they smell like smoke. should i say the sky is falling? i dont think so.
so all hail the ct scan machines that have little happy faces that light up and tell you when to hold your breath and when to breath. they have little happy faces with nuclear symbols on them too. and happy faces with biohazard symbols too. its like christmas for me. i am a spirit of technology and i am getting my just desserts. i watched the tubes glow blue and was smiling because it was so beautiful.
and then i watched the queen running the machine avoiding any eye contact because i am old and that is worse than any disease in fagdom. david, my friend who died last month, told me he had become invisible to homosexuals because of his age. that he walked the streets like a ghost. i thought he was losing his mind, but now, i think he may be right. but then, this is my ghost town right? target acquired.
the world is a funny place when the first time youve been touched in years, is to hold you down while they shove needles into you. is this love? seriously, is this it? have i finally found the answer? i hope not. i just want to look in the mirror of someone elses eyes and see my groovy cheekbones again.