but all of that aside. welcome (insert your name here), welcome. here in darkland we cater to your every need. (please insert detailed list here). here in darkland, there is no east timor, no rwanda/burundi, no erie and huron, no red sea slave trade in which arab slavers traded in black eunuchs for islam's harems. no former yugoslavia. no infected surgery. no lonely nights of bored masturbation. no journals. no art that exposes the heart. just tons and tons of the rich creamy goodness of (insert your secret flavour here).
so welcome. close your eyes and join me. there plenty of room here. in fact darkland is infinite. (insert your next of kin notification list and what you would like done with your remains here). welcome friend. welcome.