the light filters through the smoke. vapor trails cross the sky in some secret language. im too tired to translate it today. today is a holiday of gluttony and shopping. i am alone. and i guess im okay with that. the world has far more horrors outside my rain soaked windows than the cold comfort of stoli and dry bandages. the last year and a half has tried to shred me. but here i am. still here, albeit held together with duct tape and memory.
soon, i will awake to the mundane again and find some sort of peace in the security of work and shopping. but today, i will walk the silent hallways of my apartment, crushing cherry blossum petals under my feet and hum long forgotten songs. and i will think of friends. sitting at tables with their families. taking pictures with their cellphones and cameras. creating worlds within worlds with collage or watercolours and i will smile.
it is not a dark day in darkland. not today, in the cold vanilla stoli cherry blossum pink snow. it is here that i will lay my head tonight and dream of that elusive dream. of a better tomorrow, for everyone, everywhere. and in my heart. polaris will bloom and blaze. the softest pink mushroom cloud to ever grace this crown of thorn wearing broken boy. and all the toys in the factory will be smiling. watching me sleep my broken pink sleep.