warsaw. factory song of rivers and bread. both of which ended up ash laden and red. i remember everything. so i put on blue jeans and blue suede shoes and a blue zip up jacket and laid on the blue rug in the dining room. and it didnt help. i just want to sleep. underneath the ice, selecticide calls me.
the serpentine dance of the past calls me to my former glories. i am so tired of my surgery stories. no one has touched me in twenty one years. i was the whore in the temple and now my celebacy has been longer than the life of christ. does this earn me wings? travel miles and other upgrade things? i think not.
laying on my two tone blue rug underneath the ice of my white dining room table, i think not. and i get so pissed off. i no longer reflect reality in my bathroom mirror. i no longer sing songs that people hear. i just drift aimlessly amid a world filled with hate and terrorism and civil war.
bob dylan sells ipods and victoria's secret underware and 27,000 children die every day on this beautiful garden. why am i alive and alone? nothing makes sense anymore. where are my friends? not the 200 plus i buried in san francisco in the 1980's, but the ones from the last twenty one isolated years?
i am angry and i think it is good. but now what? an angry old has been hermit standing pissed off in his apartment, a day after the rent is due with no job and no money to pay the rent with is a wonderful selecticide at rainbows end. where the fuck did i go? where the fuck am i now? what the fuck does all this mean?
it means as much as each leaf, as it falls silently to the forest floor. nothing, and i remember nothing. i am nothing. i have achieved nothing and i will leave nothing behind. i guess that makes me zen. i collect static like baseball cards. negative ions cling to me like drunken bar girls.
i am atomica. i am iran. i am iraq star. i am the burning bush. the drunken fuck of the apocalypse. i am babelicious. i am laughing now. time to go to sleep. time to nova and blind. time to shine. one star in a dark apartment sky and no one makes a wish.